I haven’t kept up with my blogging as much as I would like
to, but what can I say, I have a busy life. I love to write, but you can’t
multitask when you write, and so I haven’t had much time to devote to it
lately.
(Panorama of my grandparents' house and property.)
I started a new job last week, and it has been keeping me
busy and anxious for the past couple of weeks. I am not used to working so
much, and am still trying to figure out how to fit everything in. Mostly, I
have to give up my art during the week, which has been sad, and hard, but I keep
reminding myself that it is very normal in fact. I am at the age where a
full-time job is just a fact of life. I wish I could just go ahead and retire,
but I have many decades to go before that will happen. Seriously, who wouldn’t
want to go right from college to retirement? You’ve been in school for eighteen
years, and now you’re ready to do something different. I had the mixed
blessing/curse of not being able to find a job right out of college, and
therefore getting used to being my own boss, which is the best feeling in the
world!!!
Anyways, here I am in the middle of a terrifying new career
change, wondering why it was that I thought this was a good idea. I didn’t
really know what it would be like before I started. I did not know it would be
so hard. Supervising naptime? Putting little kids to bed? Sure, why not?! Let
me tell you though, nothing will exhaust you quite as much as telling a child
to do something they don’t want to do.
There have been some blessings and silver linings to my
elevated stress levels though, namely the well-behaved children, who do not
need to be prodded, cajoled, or begged. One extra special little three-year-old
who for the purposes of this blog shall be called “Lucy” has been the charm in
my afternoons. This is her first year of going to school and staying through
naptime and after-school program, and she has bravely born the adventure. She
is the best napper in the room, getting onto her mattress, pulling up her
blankets, and closing her eyes. Apart from some typical post-nap tears, she
fares excellently for being so little, and so far from home. I didn’t start
having to be away from home for so long until I was six, and even then, I got
to go home at three. I didn’t have to stay any later. Sometimes I think parents
are too hasty in their separation tactics, but that is a subject for another
day.
(Waterlily at the UK Arboretum)
Lucy does not ever have to be told to do something, or to
not do something. She cheerfully goes about her activities in a way that makes
me wish all children were like her. You know, teacher’s pet? Well teacher’s
pets are as such for a reason: they bring a sigh of relief and a smile to our
faces. Sometimes I think kids these days are not being parented in a
sustainable way. What ever happened to children learning what the word “no”
means. I grew up with the most loving, tender parents the world could ever
produce, but I was given boundaries and discipline, and it sure seems like at
least half of the kids here have never experienced consequences before. To
prove my point, my mother informs me that neither my sister nor I ever did the
things that I report from the classroom. I’m not bragging, I’m just saying that
not all kids are badly behaved. It’s not in their nature. It is the parents who
have control over how their kids turn out.
I have come home from school only to burst into tears, and
yes I mean present-day, not when I was six, and many nights have decided to
quit because it’s just too hard. But I keep getting up and going forth again. I
want to see how long I can hold out before I’m truly done with this, because
I’m running out of options. I need money. I want to go to grad school, travel,
do my art, and those all require money. I want to live well and healthily, and
that requires money. I want to lighten my parents’ financial burden, and that
requires money, and yet I cannot find any job that I enjoy and can do
full-time.
I can’t post photos from school, so I shall find some of my
life’s other goings on.
(Drinking my new fave summer drink: healthy homemade vegan frappuccino)
