Why I Participated in National Novel Writing Month This Year

Over the past several years, every time November rolls around and I hear snippets of conversations that include the phrase ‘NaNoWriMo’ I have rolled my eyes and scoffed at the supposed writers who participate in such a gimmicky showdown. Surely a real writer does not need the imposed constraint of a daily minimum word count and periodic encouraging emails. Right?

            This year, however, I matured from that deluded point of view and realized that yes, actually, real writers need time constraints very much, as well as goals, friendly encouragement, and a community of like-minded supporters. And so with very low confidence I embarked on my very first NaNoWriMo in an attempt to write the first full-length novel I have written since I was seventeen.

            Apart from one script I wrote in a screenwriting class my sophomore year of college, I haven’t been able to write anything longer than a page since I was a teenager. I considered myself a writer since I was six and decided that’s what I was when I wrote a story about a baby seal that was almost ten pages long. So it’s been a sore spot for me that the older I’ve gotten, the less ‘inspired’ I’ve felt. Until this year.

            I finally learned that inspiration is not enough. What’s that quote: one-percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration. Yes, Thomas Edison said that, and he had to have been talking about writers! My problem, it seems, has been that whenever I start to feel like writing is becoming a burden, I stop, because I think it must just not be right. Actually, it probably means that when I was sixteen and wrote a 700+ page novel in less than a year, I was actually just ridiculously lucky and didn’t have many responsibilities.

So thank you, NaNoWriMo, for teaching me that hard work is what makes you who you are, not fleeting inspiration. I may not have gotten all 50,000 words in this November, but over the past four days I have been continuing to write diligently, and to tune out the voice of doubt that often tries to tell me ‘this is not good’ or ‘this is too hard’. It’s not really about whether it’s good, after all. My novel is for me, and too personal to ever publish. This has given me the bonus lesson that not everything I do in life has to have a higher purpose. Sometimes, you just do things because you know they’ll make you happy.

I am pretty sure than I’ll have a finished novel by the end of 2015, but even if for some reason I don’t, I’m not going to quit until it’s finished. This time, I am going to succeed in finishing a story.

Enlightenment: Things About Me That May Help Explain Things

Things You Come to Realize When You Go to Europe

Things You Come to Realize When You Go to Europe

Shannon’s take on an article posted on http://theodysseyonline.com

1. We are louder... than everyone...

This takes a little time to notice. When on the trains or on the street, stop talking for a moment. It's actually pretty quiet... Yep, and it’s embarrassing when you’re an American and you see a fellow American being obnoxious and you want to apologize to everyone else on behalf of the moron.

2. Going to class in workout clothes WILL result in dirty looks and judgment.

"Sweats" are not really a thing in Europe, and usually, the people are dressed pretty well. I don’t generally dress like that in public even when I am in the U.S., but it’s true: Londoners and Parisians have more class and self-worth it seems when it comes to appearing out in public.

3. You must embrace a lack of deodorant from those around you.

For some reason, body odors tend to... well, linger a little more. Yep. Just, yep.

4. No matter how hard you try, you still look American.

You can shed your sorority/frat letters and your "I HEART NY" shirt, but for some reason, you still GLOW American. Actually, in Paris anyways I kept being mistaken for a Parisienne, which was the most flattering thing ever.

5. But some people actually like that.

Some locals are oddly fascinated with "The States" and love to find a place they've been there that is familiar to you. True of Parisiennes anyways, which we found to be much friendlier than Londoners.

6. Embrace (or get over) the constant smell of cigarettes.

Smoking is completely culturally acceptable and common here. So, get over it. This one I’ve got to really disagree on. I mean yes, Paris smokes like a chimney, but it’s annoying, and weird really, because they’re so progressive in certain areas, and yet not in the area of sucking-carcinogens-into-bodily-organs.

7. If you see someone falling-over-drunk, 99 percent of the time, they're American.

An absolute given. We can't handle our liquor like the people here. Actually I’ve heard that we just have bad manners. It’s much more socially unacceptable to be intoxicated in public in Europe, at least where I was.

8. Clubs cater to people of every age.

Unlike American bars and clubs where (with the exception of the fake ID entry) everyone is over the age of 21 and generally under 30, the bars here have a variety of 18-50 year olds dancing all alike... scary. K, so didn’t go to any clubs therefore can’t verify. But hey I say more power to ‘em! Age is just a number.

9. The people will greatly appreciate it when you (attempt) to speak their language.

Nothing brings a smile to a foreigner's face like seeing you try to say "thank you" or "hello" in their language. It reminds them that we do actually appreciate their culture. Yes! And my tries at French were so practiced (I am a Francophile after all) that many people started speaking back in fluent French after my simple phrases.

10. You will greatly miss your dryer.

Rarely, if ever, do you come across a dryer accompanying a washing machine. Everything is air-dried. Thank goodness for the Laundromat next door. I can’t do the stiff, scratchy clothes thing. I assume it’s an environmental thing and so I feel like I should be tough and put up with stiff, scratchy, un-dried clothes, but I just can’t do it. Some things are too unpleasant to forgo. I can easily be vegan, which is the most environmentally-friendly diet, so let’s let me use a little electricity to dry my clothes thanks.

13. You can, in fact, walk by police on the street holding an open beer can.

Greatest law (or lack of law) ever. Again, haven’t tried this. But it was nice because I got a beer at Sainsbury’s and wasn’t carded for it even though I look like I’m twelve I’ve been told.

14. Public transportation is not an option-- it is life.

The public transportation is efficient, also surprisingly clean, and used by pretty much everyone in the city. Yes, and for someone who is not confident as a driver, living in a big city with public transport is like the solution to life’s hardest questions.

15. The locals here WILL be fascinated with what you are studying in their country.

It is almost a guarantee that after telling a local you are studying in their country, they will respond eagerly with, "so what are you studying?" Every. Single. Time. I wasn’t a student, sadly. But maybe I’ll do my grad studies abroad…I can have my dreams can’t I??

16. Far too often, you will accidentally buy "sparkling" water instead of regular. Yuck. Although sparkling water is available in the U.S., it is not as common as here-- where regular and sparkling are considered... well, equals. Sparkling water is delicious. Especially when you run in to a Franprix and all around you are French words being spoken by locals and you can pretend, for just a second, that you are one too.

17. It is no rumor: beer is literally cheaper than water. (And water is not free.)

Instead of trying to save a few bucks by getting water, always, ALWAYS get a beer. Here, it will actually save you some cash. Water is cheaper in Europe than it is in the US, at the grocery anyways. I think the cheapest I found was 1L in Paris for 29 Euros. Can’t beat that. And if you chug water like I do, it would be futile to replace that with beer. Seriously, let’s get real here. Not even funny.

18. We have been trained since birth to eat way, WAY too much.

The server will be straightforward and let you know that you are, in fact, ordering WAY too much. Like only a true American does. We didn’t go to any restaurants like that, but we did our people-watching and noticed that everything is smaller in Europe, and that is rather nice. Americans can be disgustingly excessive in all areas, that’s for sure, which is not to say Europeans can’t, but as a whole they are much less so.

19. Ice is a precious novelty and shouldn't be taken for granted... drinks are rarely served with ice. Get used to some nice, luke-warm drinks. I will never again take ice for granted, or pretend that I don’t love it just so that I can fake my European-ness or hipster-ness. Ice = necessary. It was 100 degrees while we were in Paris, and not only did we not have A/C, but of course, no freezer/ice-maker. The solution: STARBUCKS!!! I went to at least one every day, and it was heaven. I try to steer clear of them while at home (price, affiliation w/ Monsanto, not organic) but while abroad I had to get my fix. Starbucks was the only place I knew I could get ice and A/C while in Paris.

20. You will be judged if you eat dinner before 8:30 and leave before 10:30.

People enjoy their meal in the evening and have no rush... unlike anything we're used to. It's actually a nice change of pace. We cooked at our apartment, which beat eating out! Because eating dinner at 8:30? No thank you. I’m not going to pretend I like that either just to “fit in” with the locals.

21. Sometimes you get charged to use public restrooms (WC's), and it stinks.

Although it may not cost much, there are often bathroom attendants trying to either rip you off, or actually charging for using the public facilities. Never saw a bathroom attendant, but had to pay a couple of nominal fees for general upkeep. No prob.

22. Cars WILL hit a pedestrian.

You must come to grips with the fact that in you vs. car, the car will always win. And here, the drivers aren't afraid to show you. Yikes, glad we didn’t observe that. Actually pedestrians seemed really confidant in their ability to not be hit by cars. But again, maybe it was just timing.

23. The people here are generally more eco-friendly.

Between the lack of dryers, AC, the eco-friendly settings on EVERYTHING, the heavy use of public transportation, and conservation of water, the people seem a bit ahead of the curve with helping good ole Mother Nature. Yes, but the host we stayed at in London didn’t recycle and I was appalled.

24. Men are not afraid to wolf-whistle or honk loudly... in fact, this happens far too often.

Public display of affection is much more common here, and the same can be said for men trying to get your attention. They will not hold back. Actually, the only experience we had with men being rude in public was them shoving us quite literally on the street and the tube. Disappointing. Chivalry really is dead.

25. You realize that even though you're in a different country, on a different continent, there are still comforting similarities that prove we're not so different after all. Amen to that. That was the coolest thing, and the reason I want to keep traveling for the rest of my life.

My Favorite Words as of Late

What has shaken free.

A lot of people were wondering and/or hoping if my fear and anxiety over certain things would lessen due to traveling to Europe. I will admit that early on I hoped they would. Perhaps they would drown in the ocean somewhere between Prince Edward Island and Iceland. I can tell you that didn’t happen.

But something else happened that is perhaps even more important: I lost a bit of the fear that looking back at an old life can bring up.

Since I am very fond of analogies, some days I go the entirety of my waking hours speaking in nothing. So I will give you one now. It’s probably one that if you’re over the age of 21 or so you have experienced more or less on the same level:

There comes a time in a person’s life when they have to grow up, and face the fact that life is albeit beautiful and miraculous, but nonetheless kinda mean and stupid too, and if a person wants to become a more or less successful adultish human they have to go on anyways and, well, get over it. I think it took me much longer to do this than your average person, and so maybe that’s why I had to do it in a hurry. It was like my being said “Dang guuuurrlll hurry it on up we don’t have forever!” and dumped my child-self into the rubbish bin labeled “too small” but forgot to tell me it was okay to save the pictures.

Another way of putting it is that I became disgusted with that old self, embarrassed and even offended by her imperfections and childishness, and subconsciously decided to pretend she never existed. Some junk got thrown out, some dirty water, okay a lot of scummy water, but also the baby. Yes, the proverbial baby was thrown out too, because she was apparently at one time too hideous to look at or deal with.

But I’m back from Europe and somehow that baby isn’t so scary any more. The baby, in case analogy isn’t your first, second, or third language, is important.

One might be tempted to be disappointed that my current hang-ups haven’t been “fixed” by my first overseas adventure of hopefully many, but I am not, so please believe me when I say that the gift of accepting the person I used to be is way more important and healing than anything I could have ever asked for. 

c. 2009

Deepest Waters

I have no money. I’m all weepy.  I have a sore throat. And I get tired to the point of feeling faint at 4 in the afternoon. What’s wrong with me, you ask? I just spent two weeks in Europe. It was worth it. That is an understatement. It was so worth it.

I think everyone knows, but just in case you don’t, this trip was six months in the making, plus twenty-five years. It was one small step for humankind, one giant step for Shannon. What I just did defied every fear I have struggled with in my lifetime. As someone who suffers from generalized anxiety and panic disorder, you may think it was not the best of ideas to suddenly up and go to Europe when I’ve never even been away from my family for more than a week. But sometimes it’s go big or go home. Sometimes it’s all or nothing. Sometimes you realize that you will never be “ready” and you will never feel “brave” and that yes indeed, bravery is not a feeling, it’s an action. It’s doing something even though you are terrified to do it and are possibly underprepared and it is possibly not the best idea but deep down you know that it will be okay. Because when are we ever “ready” to get up in the morning, to fall in love, to change our lives, to die? This adventure taught me, is teaching me, that being “ready” for something is not the criteria for actually doing it. I guess I learned that in college, but daily and weekly we must all surely need to re-learn basic truths.

Not even a picture will speak the thousands of words I have, but since I have more than a thousand pictures that I took over the course of the trip, I figure I’ll put them up for viewing. Yes, I am bragging a bit, but since when has bragging become a sin?? I worked my tail end off at a rather unpleasant job for a year to go on this trip. I had nightmares for almost six months only to have not a single nightmare once I actually got over there. I spent all my money. I laughed, cried, trembled, stood in awe and paid the equivalent of six dollars for a mediocre 8 oz of coffee just to be able to use the bathroom one afternoon in Paris when there was no other option in sight. If you do something great, heck if you do something at all, especially that defies any odds, you should proudly share it.

I lived it up. I drank beer in Oxford. I got my portrait sketched in Paris. I dragged a suitcase and five bags through the London tube all the way to St. Pancras and the Eurostar Chunnel and cried in public because it was so miserable. (It was the worst part of the trip, and we still made it through, so I’d say overall we were pretty lucky.) I did so many things that you will probably all get tired of me talking about them. Sorry not sorry.

Right now I know that I am capable of anything. But am feeling quite content and thankful thank you very much to just be at home and live my beautifully simple, quiet life for a while and wink at the universe. When I next feel like doing something I’m not ready to do, I’m going to do it, but for right now, I am 110% content. Life is just right, and better every year.

P.S. – I would like to thank some very important, special people right now, for although I have strength I didn’t even know I for sure possessed, this trip would sill not have been possible without them.

I’d like to thank my fellow vegan and travel companion, Lindsey Jones, for traveling with me, and putting up with my terrible sense of direction. We made a good team, and without someone to travel with this trip would of course not have happened. Thank you Lindsey, for doing Europe with me.

I’d like to thank my one and only sister, the great Faryn Kelly, who has blazed the trail before me more than once in our lifetime, and to whom I owe the inspiration for the actualization of a dream. I have been sitting at the top of the slide for a long, long time, never knowing that all I needed was a friendly push from you.

And of course I thank my parents, who are both my greatest confidants and friends. This trip would not have been possible without your support in every area. You worked out taxi rides, explained maps, bought supplies, coached, encouraged, and researched for me. Plus you raised me. That’s pretty important, too. Like you said Daddy, this trip has been twenty-five years in the making.