I have no money. I’m all weepy. I have a sore throat. And I get tired to the
point of feeling faint at 4 in the afternoon. What’s wrong with me, you ask? I
just spent two weeks in Europe. It was worth it. That is an understatement. It
was so worth it.
I think everyone knows, but just in case you don’t, this trip was six months in the making, plus twenty-five years. It was one small step for humankind, one giant step for Shannon. What I just did defied every fear I have struggled with in my lifetime. As someone who suffers from generalized anxiety and panic disorder, you may think it was not the best of ideas to suddenly up and go to Europe when I’ve never even been away from my family for more than a week. But sometimes it’s go big or go home. Sometimes it’s all or nothing. Sometimes you realize that you will never be “ready” and you will never feel “brave” and that yes indeed, bravery is not a feeling, it’s an action. It’s doing something even though you are terrified to do it and are possibly underprepared and it is possibly not the best idea but deep down you know that it will be okay. Because when are we ever “ready” to get up in the morning, to fall in love, to change our lives, to die? This adventure taught me, is teaching me, that being “ready” for something is not the criteria for actually doing it. I guess I learned that in college, but daily and weekly we must all surely need to re-learn basic truths.
I think everyone knows, but just in case you don’t, this trip was six months in the making, plus twenty-five years. It was one small step for humankind, one giant step for Shannon. What I just did defied every fear I have struggled with in my lifetime. As someone who suffers from generalized anxiety and panic disorder, you may think it was not the best of ideas to suddenly up and go to Europe when I’ve never even been away from my family for more than a week. But sometimes it’s go big or go home. Sometimes it’s all or nothing. Sometimes you realize that you will never be “ready” and you will never feel “brave” and that yes indeed, bravery is not a feeling, it’s an action. It’s doing something even though you are terrified to do it and are possibly underprepared and it is possibly not the best idea but deep down you know that it will be okay. Because when are we ever “ready” to get up in the morning, to fall in love, to change our lives, to die? This adventure taught me, is teaching me, that being “ready” for something is not the criteria for actually doing it. I guess I learned that in college, but daily and weekly we must all surely need to re-learn basic truths.
Not even a picture will speak the thousands of words I have, but since I have more than a thousand pictures that I took over the course of the trip, I figure I’ll put them up for viewing. Yes, I am bragging a bit, but since when has bragging become a sin?? I worked my tail end off at a rather unpleasant job for a year to go on this trip. I had nightmares for almost six months only to have not a single nightmare once I actually got over there. I spent all my money. I laughed, cried, trembled, stood in awe and paid the equivalent of six dollars for a mediocre 8 oz of coffee just to be able to use the bathroom one afternoon in Paris when there was no other option in sight. If you do something great, heck if you do something at all, especially that defies any odds, you should proudly share it.
I lived it up. I drank beer in Oxford. I got my portrait sketched in Paris. I dragged a suitcase and five bags through the London tube all the way to St. Pancras and the Eurostar Chunnel and cried in public because it was so miserable. (It was the worst part of the trip, and we still made it through, so I’d say overall we were pretty lucky.) I did so many things that you will probably all get tired of me talking about them. Sorry not sorry.
Right now I know that I am capable of anything. But am feeling quite content and thankful thank you very much to just be at home and live my beautifully simple, quiet life for a while and wink at the universe. When I next feel like doing something I’m not ready to do, I’m going to do it, but for right now, I am 110% content. Life is just right, and better every year.
P.S. – I would like to thank some very important, special people right now, for although I have strength I didn’t even know I for sure possessed, this trip would sill not have been possible without them.
I’d like to thank my fellow vegan and travel companion, Lindsey Jones, for traveling with me, and putting up with my terrible sense of direction. We made a good team, and without someone to travel with this trip would of course not have happened. Thank you Lindsey, for doing Europe with me.
I’d like to thank my one and only sister, the great Faryn Kelly, who has blazed the trail before me more than once in our lifetime, and to whom I owe the inspiration for the actualization of a dream. I have been sitting at the top of the slide for a long, long time, never knowing that all I needed was a friendly push from you.
And of course I thank my parents, who are both my greatest confidants and friends. This trip would not have been possible without your support in every area. You worked out taxi rides, explained maps, bought supplies, coached, encouraged, and researched for me. Plus you raised me. That’s pretty important, too. Like you said Daddy, this trip has been twenty-five years in the making.
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