Wednesday, August 27, 2014

New Job, New Chapter, New Experiment

I haven’t kept up with my blogging as much as I would like to, but what can I say, I have a busy life. I love to write, but you can’t multitask when you write, and so I haven’t had much time to devote to it lately.


(Panorama of my grandparents' house and property.) 

I started a new job last week, and it has been keeping me busy and anxious for the past couple of weeks. I am not used to working so much, and am still trying to figure out how to fit everything in. Mostly, I have to give up my art during the week, which has been sad, and hard, but I keep reminding myself that it is very normal in fact. I am at the age where a full-time job is just a fact of life. I wish I could just go ahead and retire, but I have many decades to go before that will happen. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to go right from college to retirement? You’ve been in school for eighteen years, and now you’re ready to do something different. I had the mixed blessing/curse of not being able to find a job right out of college, and therefore getting used to being my own boss, which is the best feeling in the world!!!

Anyways, here I am in the middle of a terrifying new career change, wondering why it was that I thought this was a good idea. I didn’t really know what it would be like before I started. I did not know it would be so hard. Supervising naptime? Putting little kids to bed? Sure, why not?! Let me tell you though, nothing will exhaust you quite as much as telling a child to do something they don’t want to do.

There have been some blessings and silver linings to my elevated stress levels though, namely the well-behaved children, who do not need to be prodded, cajoled, or begged. One extra special little three-year-old who for the purposes of this blog shall be called “Lucy” has been the charm in my afternoons. This is her first year of going to school and staying through naptime and after-school program, and she has bravely born the adventure. She is the best napper in the room, getting onto her mattress, pulling up her blankets, and closing her eyes. Apart from some typical post-nap tears, she fares excellently for being so little, and so far from home. I didn’t start having to be away from home for so long until I was six, and even then, I got to go home at three. I didn’t have to stay any later. Sometimes I think parents are too hasty in their separation tactics, but that is a subject for another day.


(Waterlily at the UK Arboretum)

Lucy does not ever have to be told to do something, or to not do something. She cheerfully goes about her activities in a way that makes me wish all children were like her. You know, teacher’s pet? Well teacher’s pets are as such for a reason: they bring a sigh of relief and a smile to our faces. Sometimes I think kids these days are not being parented in a sustainable way. What ever happened to children learning what the word “no” means. I grew up with the most loving, tender parents the world could ever produce, but I was given boundaries and discipline, and it sure seems like at least half of the kids here have never experienced consequences before. To prove my point, my mother informs me that neither my sister nor I ever did the things that I report from the classroom. I’m not bragging, I’m just saying that not all kids are badly behaved. It’s not in their nature. It is the parents who have control over how their kids turn out.

I have come home from school only to burst into tears, and yes I mean present-day, not when I was six, and many nights have decided to quit because it’s just too hard. But I keep getting up and going forth again. I want to see how long I can hold out before I’m truly done with this, because I’m running out of options. I need money. I want to go to grad school, travel, do my art, and those all require money. I want to live well and healthily, and that requires money. I want to lighten my parents’ financial burden, and that requires money, and yet I cannot find any job that I enjoy and can do full-time.

I can’t post photos from school, so I shall find some of my life’s other goings on.

Peace.


(Drinking my new fave summer drink: healthy homemade vegan frappuccino)

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